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Blackstone Spoofs Office Culture in Annual Holiday Video

So much for sustaining corporate culture during a pandemic.

Blackstone Spoofs Office Culture in Annual Holiday Video
Blackstone mascot Mr. Stone is back. (Source: Blackstone Group)

Blackstone Group Inc. has had a winning year, but things have been a little scary behind the scenes, according to an internal (and self-spoofing) video sent to employees Wednesday.

President Jon Gray uses a megaphone in the office to communicate with socially distanced colleagues. Chief Executive Officer Stephen Schwarzman puts a cardboard cutout of himself in front of his computer to attend Zoom meetings. And David Blitzer and Ken Caplan have grown their hair to their shoulders.

So much for sustaining corporate culture during a pandemic; at least they’re in suits, not sweatpants.

Blackstone Spoofs Office Culture in Annual Holiday Video

Blackstone’s holiday videos started three years ago, when Gray became president. Inspired by “The Office,” they have Gray searching for ways to make up for the cancellation of the holiday party -- a more fitting conceit than ever in 2020.

Blackstone Spoofs Office Culture in Annual Holiday Video

Some at Blackstone have thrived. Mr. Stone, the mascot introduced in last year’s video, has gone from dunking basketballs to vetting the firm’s investments (e.g. finding dates on Bumble and exploring his family tree on Ancestry.com).

Not every element is fictional: There really is a weekly photo contest. And to be sure, the pandemic has spurred not just satirical videos but also $15 million in donations for Covid relief in New York, volunteering and a decent group lip-sync to “Walking on Sunshine” in honor of first responders, essential workers and teachers, which is the video’s feel-good finale.

But self-mocking humor has its place. Gray said in an interview he’d like the video to bring a smile after a tough year. He’s fine with employees and anyone else getting some laughs at his expense.

Blackstone Spoofs Office Culture in Annual Holiday Video

Cue the scenes where he’s a terrible Secret Santa (gifting toilet paper, a cat calendar), looks ridiculous in a Christmas sweater and leads meetings with no one bothering to tell him he’s on mute.

Gray said that while he has no doubt talked without unmuting, “The idea that no one has told me has not happened.”

Well, not that he knows of.

©2020 Bloomberg L.P.