Want to Lose Six Pounds in an Afternoon? It’s Merely a Massage Away

“These were people we’ve never operated on requesting our masseuses to work on them,” he says. The jump in new patients was caused by a simple thesis: Lymphatic drainage massages could work as a slimming shortcut—a cosmetic upgrade that doesn’t require a single incision. As it wicks away some of the water in your tissue, a lymphatic facial can sharpen your cheekbones and a full-body treatment can help you drop 5 or 6 pounds almost overnight.

Neinstein’s new patients have celebrity role models. Cate Blanchett, Kris Jenner, and the Duchess of Sussex all have used lymphatic drainage for a cosmetic boost, if we believe their facialists’ interviews and social media accounts. When Kim Kardashian West and Eva Chen, Instagram’s director of fashion partnerships, wanted to tone their body for the pink carpet at the Met Gala in May, they opted for the treatment. Scroll through the social media feed or stories of any celebutante—think Hailey Rhode Bieber (née Baldwin), Selena Gomez, or Shay Mitchell—and you’ll likely find them gushing about the instant, Insta-friendly effect.

How does it work? The body can hold as much as 1.3 gallons of unneeded water in the soft tissues, Neinstein says. He likens that liquid to “a pool at the side of the road, stagnant and not serving any purpose.” A professional drainage will prompt the lymph system to release that water. It tidies up the body, like a biological janitor, and purges that liquid through the skin and the urinary system. Now slightly dessicated, the patient will be visibly slimmer. Neinstein compares it to waking up hung over, but without the headache. “Bodies look slimmer and tighter because the dehydration rids the body of excess water.”

Neinstein is unusual in offering such a process from his swanky Upper East Side office, as most such magic workers in the U.S. operate under the radar. (In London, counterpart Nichola Joss focuses on lymphatic facials.) Many masseuses draw clients via social media, especially Instagram. Two of the most respected are Camila Perez (@camilaperez.mt), who calls her process “high definition massage,” and Flávia Lanini (@flavialanini), who claims to have created the “massage effect.” They list their WhatsApp numbers for appointments and visit clients where they live. (Lanini says she’s opening a studio in New York, but there’s no confirmed date.)

Perez and Lanini, like many practitioners, are originally from Latin America. The technique was finessed as a slimming treatment in the numerous plastic surgery offices of such cities as Bogotá and São Paulo. It’s no crackpot New Age conceit; the medical bona fides of lymphatic drainage date back almost a century. In the 1930s, Danish doctor Emil Vodder championed its benefits, such as reduced swelling and improved circulation. Indeed, credentials from his namesake school in Austria or its satellite campus in Canada are the sole assurance that any Instagrammer offering such treatments is qualified.

At Neinstein’s office, where a one-hour session costs $300, the treatment is surprisingly painless, at least when carried out by his on-staff masseuse. Unlike Swedish or deep-tissue massage, it’s aimed at the small blood vessels and soft tissue right below the skin’s surface. After an ultrasound to the abdomen to prep the soft tissue, the masseuse begins kneading the muscles. It feels as though she’s trying to make bread, either on or perhaps with your belly fat. Then she works the whole body in firm, clenching motions, grabbing me by the scruff of the neck the way an old man might greet his grandson. The only awkward moment is when she reaches in to press key points on the groin and murmurs a smiling apology.

The next day my pants feel looser and my six-pack-less stomach looks somewhat flatter. But that could be an effect of the power of suggestion—and hope.

Patients are clearly convinced, though. Irani Makimoto-Domino of New York’s IMD Beauty Spa has added five more rooms for treatments in the past 12 months. Neinstein anticipates that his business will grow as well—so much so that he’s planning to build a permanent lymphatic massage salon attached to his practice when he expands later this year.

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